Major spoilers below for anyone who hasn’t yet watched the three Stranger Things Vol. 2 episodes via Netflix subscription, so be warned!
My brain already hurts thinking about the 2026 TV schedule arriving without any future seasons of Stranger Things to look forward to. (Save for the animated Tales from ‘85 spinoff that’s on the way.) But we still have to make it through the impending series finale, which will tie up all the loose strands set up thus far, from the Upside Down’s wormhole reveal to Vecna’s grand plan for Dimension X to (hopefully) what was in the soldier’s case that kept Henry from returning to that cave for so many years.
Of course, a series finale on this scale is expected to deliver some massive casualties, and Vol. 2 hinted very heavily at two high-profile deaths that would likely leave a lasting sting well after the credits are done. But I think fans should probably start worrying harder about four other characters that are more likely to kick the bucket in more tragic (or at least more harrowing) ways.
Eleven And Kali Appear Destined To Sacrifice Themselves, But…
I’m currently unable to say with conviction whether or not Kali’s claims to Eleven are totally on the level when it comes to her blood being injected into pregnant women’s bodies with the goal of producing more children with telekinetic abilities. I want to believe her, in the sense that I want to believe anyone sharing revealing plot details in this convoluted storyline. But Kali telling the truth would also mean her suggestion that the only way to stop the scientists from replicating the process in the future is for all of the lab experiments to be killed off, Kali and Eleven included.
If Hopper knew that was the case, his high horse would poke up into the stratosphere, given all the distrust he’s (David) harboring for Kali. Granted, her reasoning is pure and virtuous if true, not that Hopper would care. But by pointing so large an arrow directly at Eleven and Kali, I think the Duffer brothers using that to distract us from worry about the characters who are actually doomed. Such as….
Jim Hopper
That’s right. Stranger Things Season 5 previously threw a stick in the spokes of Hopper and Eleven’s relationship when he went on his secret mission into the Upside Down without telling her there was a chance he might not return. Which of course made him multitudes more protective of her whenever they found Kali.
I think Hopper is going to discover that Eleven is contemplating sacrificing herself for the greater good, and I think he’s going to find a way to take care of that problem without her death being necessary. Which would likely require a dozen or so large-scale explosions across both labs in Hawkins and in the Upside Down, as well as any secret locations audiences haven’t learned about yet. This theory would have felt even more emotional had Hopper and Joyce shared any truly worthwhile scenes together in Season 5, which sadly hasn’t been the case. But I still think Hopper is doomed.
Jonathan Byers
Until “Chapter Seven: The Bridge,” I didn’t have Jonathan anywhere near my list of go-to death predictions for the final episode. But then came the one-two punch that sealed the deal. First, his and Nancy’s panicked captivity in the melting room brought them to the point where all of their squabbling grievances were aired out, and he finally brought out the engagement ring that’s been burning a hole in his pocket and brain. Only without an actual propsal, but rather a shared understanding that they’re perhaps not meant to be together.
As well, Will finally got his big coming-out scene in front of the entire group, with the idea being that embracing his true nature will make him impervious to Vecna’s advances. So Jonathan no longer needs to serve as an inspirational big brother at this point. And it’s not like he’s got a ton of other friends or future life options to devote his time to when things go back to normal, so… R.I.P. Jonathan, probably.
Murray Bauman
If Stranger Things ever sparked its own Expendables-branded spinoff, it would no doubt be headed up by Brett Gelman’s Murray Bauman, since he is the living embodiment of an expendable character within this world. He’s not a total waste of space or anything, as his efforts, vehicles, weapons and supplies have been a huge help for everyone. But then Murray also does things like use the nickname “Snookums” a surprisingly annoying amount of times in short order, and I find myself actively wishing for him to take one of Vecna’s viney extensions through the back of his head.
Sure, there would be mild amusement had if Murray ended up being the only character from this season that survives and lives to see another day. But it wouldn’t be worth losing everyone else, so let’s send Murray off to that big…thing that Murray likes in the sky.
Lucas Sinclair
I know, I know! Nobody actively want anyone from the core D&D group to lose all their HP before the figurative dungeon has been mastered. It’s not like these choices are culled just from who I want to see shuffle off. Murray, sure, he’d be on both lists, and my first choice on the Kill ‘Em Off ranking would be that disrespectful and dead-eyed soldier that Linda Hamilton’s Dr. Kay womanhandled accordingly. Neither Lucas nor Caleb McLaughlin deserve that fate, but that’s precisely what makes him suitable finale fodder.
For the bulk of this season so far and then some, Lucas’ solo journey outside of plot-pushing activities has been providing distant emotional and musical support for Sadie Sink’s Max. A noble duty, no doubt, and one that was addressed in a heartfelt manner by Max herself, who gave him more credit than Kate Bush for pulling her through her Vecna-induced coma. Now that she’s back, though, it opens the soul-crushing door for Lucas to meet his maker while keeping both Max and Erica safe. After which, both of them would rip ass and save the day in his honor, naturally.
Whether I’m right or I’m wrong about the victims’ identities, millions of fans will be watching SOME characters get ripped open and bled out when Stranger Things’ series finale hits both theaters and Netflix on Wednesday, December 31.
