From SirSean Connery‘s pioneering classics to Daniel Craig‘s revolutionary iterations, the James Bond franchise has always adhered to a set of tropes that have become a permanent fixture of the films and an ever-present feature in pop culture. From the cars, gadgets, and girls to the death-defying stunts and the stylish suave that permeates throughout the films, there are a great many things that make Bond, Bond, but nothing has defined the franchise quite like its most iconic lines of dialogue.
007 himself has delivered many a famous line over the decades, ranging from his introduction and his drink order to his dastardly double entendres and post-kill quips. Additionally, the Bond girls and the wicked villains have had their fair share of excellent one-liners as well. Across a franchise that spans over 25 films and in excess of six decades, these quotes stand as the best the Bond movies have to offer.
25
“Well he always did have an inflated opinion of himself.”
‘Live and Let Die’ (1973)
There is a touch of irony in the fact that one of Bond’s best one-liners comes immediately after one of the worst villain deaths in the franchise. Near the conclusion of 1973’s Live and Let Die, Bond and the nefarious drug lord and political figure Dr. Kananga (Yaphet Kotto) are fighting in a shark tank when 007 forces the villain to swallow a compressed-gas pellet. As Bond swims to safety, Kananga blows up like a balloon and quite literally bursts.
As a dazed Solitaire (Jane Seymour) asks what happened to Dr. Kananga, Bond replies with a quip that showcases his trademark wit and his penchant for a great pun in the rewatchable Bond movie. Such a blending of dismissive quick wit and dry delivery would become the defining staple of Sir Roger Moore’s tenure as James Bond.
24
“They’ll print anything these days.”
‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ (1997)
With a penchant for a pun, James Bond has always toed the line between eye-rolling gags and sensational witticisms, sometimes with exceptional grace and sometimes with cringeworthy sloppiness. For all his films’ faults, Pierce Brosnan always delivered such quips in the perfect manner, with one of his best coming in Tomorrow Never Dies, in which he clashes with a powerful media mogul trying to incite WWIII to expand his news empire.
As he infiltrates one of Elliot Carver’s (Jonathan Pryce) newsrooms, Bond tangles with several henchmen and dispatches one of them by knocking him onto the printing press, leading to a flurry of papers being printed with the goon’s blood all over them. Effortlessly cool with a wry seriousness, Brosnan gives the line the punch and charisma necessary for it to be a hilarious highlight of 007’s knack for wordplay during fights.
23
“My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done, such as drinking a Dom Perignon ’53 above a temperature of 38° Fahrenheit.”
‘Goldfinger’ (1964)
Goldfingeris widely regarded to be not only the greatest of the early Bond movies, but the most regal and sophisticated as well. Every element works a treat, from the overall story to the array of characters and their interpersonal dynamics, the high stakes and suave style, and, of course, the dialogue. Unsurprisingly, many of the film’s best-known lines feature later on this list, but this somewhat forgotten gem is perfectly emblematic of 007’s elegance, grace, fine tastes, and his humour.
Having entertained Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton)—and intending to entertain her again—Bond reaches for the champagne only to discover that the bottle has gotten too warm. His insistence on a fresh Dom Pérignon ’53 exudes a certain lavishness and confidence, even if his ensuing quip at the expense of The Beatles hasn’t aged quite as well. It is cool, quick, and confident, exemplifying Bond at his best and serving as one of many golden lines from Goldfinger.
22
“Named after your father, perhaps?”
‘Diamonds Are Forever’ (1971)
Within Sir Sean Connery’s slick and suave demeanor, there was always a certain perverted playfulness that not only undercut but largely defined his charms. This was on full display in Diamonds Are Forever during James Bond’s encounter with the hilariously named Plenty O’Toole (Lana Wood). Meeting at the craps table, the scantily-clad woman simply introduces herself as “Plenty.” Bond steals an opportunistic glance, “but of course you are.” It is a typically salacious bit of wordplay, but it pales in comparison to what comes next.
Upon giving Bond her full name, 007 appears to be somewhat thrown, takes the time to collect his chips to compose himself, then wryly delivers what is one of the best penis-joke innuendos in the franchise. It isn’t overly sophisticated, nor is it insightful, philosophical, or wise, but it is emblematic of the Bond franchise’s appetite for pure fun in its early days.
21
“I thought Christmas only comes once a year.”
‘The World is Not Enough’ (1999)
The World is Not Enough is unfortunately remembered as being one of the weakest films in the Bond franchise. Bogged down by a tired story, lazy writing, and a couple of abysmal casting decisions, it is largely a difficult viewing experience. However, it does find some moments of joy, many of which are in the form of Brosnan’s brilliantly hammy performance that both embraces the film’s campy aura and enhances it.
While a lot of the dialogue leaves plenty to be desired, there are some instances where Brosnan is able to elevate it, such as when he and Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) exchange pillow talk. His smutty pun is neither subtle nor, on its own, sublime, but the delivery of the line is old-school 007 to a tee, making for a rare golden moment in an otherwise underwhelming Bond film.
20
“This never happened to the other fellow.”
‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ (1969)
Across the many eras of 007, there has been very little that the franchise hasn’t experimented with in some length, be it camp comedy, action bombast, or even gritty spy thrills, but fourth-wall-breaking gags are not something James Bond has ever been associated with. That being said, one of 007’s most underrated gags does play with such humor in delightful fashion.
In the opening scene of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – the first Bond film not to star Sean Connery – George Lazenby’s James Bond rescues a girl from drowning in the sea, only to be ambushed by a gunman when he returns to shore. Commenting on the unsavory situation he finds himself in, Bond quips how “the other fellow” never got such treatment. Funny, witty, and delivered with tongue firmly in cheek, the quote is a brilliant example of the saga’s playful comedic sense.
19
“You always were a cunning linguist, James.”
‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ (1997)
While the double-entendre dialogue is a staple piece of the James Bond franchise, it isn’t 007 alone who gets to revel in all the sensational, seductive fun. Tomorrow Never Dies sees Miss Moneypenny (Samantha Bond),Bond’s sometimes teased romantic interest and MI6’s secretary to M (Judi Dench), also getting her share of the smutty wit during a phone call with James Bond in which she interrupts him during a steamy moment.
Insisting that he has to hurry things along to respond to a volatile political situation, Moneypenny responds to Bond’s apparent indifference and his Danish quips with a rather suggestive line. A trademark Bond franchise quote, it is playful, raunchy, and witty. The following moment when Moneypenny has a brief exchange with M only makes the line that much funnier.
18
“Why is it people who can’t take advice always insist on giving it?”
‘Casino Royale’ (2006)
2006’s Casino Royalecontains arguably the best central relationship between Bond and the Bond girl in the form of Daniel Craig’s brooding 007 and Eva Green’s enchantingly mysterious Vesper Lynd. As such, the duo have several of the greatest exchanges in the whole saga, especially as they each try to figure out more about the other while working together to weaken a terrorist financier.
When sharing a dinner in an otherwise isolated restaurant, Lynd suggests to Bond that he doesn’t need to remain in such a violent and callous line of work just because it’s what he has always done, prompting 007’s succinct yet memorable response. Substituting wry witticisms and off-hand quips with a more pointed comment, yet still maintaining the character’s signature suave style, Craig delivers the line flawlessly to mark a strikingly strong moment in his debut Bond outing.
17
“Just a slight stiffness coming on… in the shoulder.”
‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ (1969)
Bond wouldn’t be Bond without the occasional double entendre. Starring George Lazenby in a brilliant though underrated one-off performance as 007, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service has come to be viewed as one of the better Bond movies, mixing espionage thrills with tragedy and drama, and also having plenty of room for witty dialogue.
One of its best lines came when Bond was sitting at a table in discussion with a group of women. When the girl beside him reaches up his kilt and scribes something on the inside of his thigh, one of the women asks what has caused Bond’s abrupt change in tone. Undeniably crude, yet subtle and steamy, his response of “just a slight stiffness coming on… in the shoulder” is trademark, old-school Bond.
16
“I think he got the point.”
‘Thunderball’ (1965)
While Thunderball excelled as one of Connery’s original Bond films, it did show some signs of the franchise beginning to resort to a set formula of its own creation. An extensive budget did wallpaper over the cracks though, as did the series’ trademark snappy dialogue which kept the story flying by at a brisk pace while also making for one of the better death puns of the entire saga.
While lying with Domino (Claudine Auger) on the beach, Bond and his lover are ambushed by an armed man, with Bond reacting fast to skewer the aggressor with a bolt from his harpoon gun. With an effortless and suave demeanor, Bond rises to his feet and snaps “I think he got the point,” delivering one of the best James Bond quotes as the gunman dies impaled to a tree.
