I’m 47 years old. Let’s just get that out of the way, if only to establish where I’m at in terms of my own life years. And, I say my age without embarrassment or shame, just gratitude and a sense of… well, that’s-how-old-I-am factual accuracy. I grew up well aware of the reality that life offers us no guarantees, including how many years we get, so while I understand some of the reasons why people (especially women) decline to share their age, I’m ok to say mine, especially when it’s right before I can share my appreciation for someone else talking about their own. In this case, that appreciation is for Law & Order: SVU starMariska Hargitay and her recent comments about aging.
I like to hear women — whether they’re younger or older than me — speak openly about their age and provide insight into their experience, as there’s always something to learn. So, when I listened toMariska Hargitay’s interview with Amy Poehler on a recent Good Hang episode, and they talked about age, I absolutely loved hearing Hargitay’s words about being sixty.
Hargitay shared her age with pride as she talked about the turns life took for her over the years, and where she’s at at this point. She starts out by talking about the decades leading up to now, saying,
I remember when I turned 40, and I used to tell people ‘Oh my God, life begins at forty.’ Because my 20s were super hard, and I really struggled, and then 30 you go ‘Ok, it’s a new beginning.’ But then 40 is when it really, kind of kicked in, and I got married and had kids. And then 50, you go ‘Oh, I’m in it, and I know how to do it’…
And then she gets into how things are going at 60:
But 60 gives you a new permission. We learn no, but no with love. And we learn, like, ‘Oh this is how much time I have left, and I’m so grateful to be alive, and I want to spend my time in the best, most useful, productive, loving, generous — but also generous to myself — way.’ That you go, ‘I’m just so clear.’ There’s a clarity to 60.
When I was younger, I think I imagined everything over the age of like 35 to be this sort of blurred-together portion of adulthood where I would be more or less the same version of me over the next few decades, which would hopefully someday lead into my senior years. Obviously, the older I get, the clearer the sometimes-vastly different stages of adulthood have become to me.
Understanding who I am or who I want to be at whatever age I am is surely a challenge, but it’s also become sort of the point. It isn’t all flowers and rainbows here in my 40s, and I don’t assume it was for Hargitay either, though she speaks positively about that time of her life. I just love how she maps out her own major steps in each of the last few decades of her life, and especially the joy she expresses when talking about being in her 60s.
As I said earlier, I understand why people (especially women) are reluctant to talk about their age. I’m not an actor, but I have no doubt that it presents challenges for people in the entertainment industry, particularly as they move further into adulthood, as it can impact the work they can get – actresses like Maggie Gyllenhaal and Naomi Watts have shared their own experiences on the topic.
I’m not judging anyone who prefers to be vague about the exact number of years they’ve had on this earth if they think it’ll hinder their professional options. But, as someone who wants to hear about different perspectives and life experiences, as I continue to try to process my own, I love that Hargitay is being open and talking about the clarity she’s experiencing as she steps into what Poehler describes as the “top of Act III.”
At this point, before I wrap this up, I’ll add that Hargitay isn’t the first actor to share their thoughts on their age in recent months. Helen Mirren had some delightfully candid insights on the topic when doing press for The Thursday Murder Club, particularly in response to an interviewer who described her as a “young spirit.” As she described, to People, the story of her response to this person:
What did I say? Fuck off? My spirit is the age that I am.
I can see why the unnamed interviewer might’ve thought they were complimenting her by calling her a “young spirit,” but I can just as easily see why Mirren might be put off by the comment, as it suggests that her general nature gives off something that typically applies to younger people, when in actuality, you can be in your 70s or 80s and display those same personality traits.
The optimistic side of me does hope that the more people speak openly about their perspective at whatever age they are, maybe there won’t be so many inaccurate assumptions about what it means to be a certain age. Even if that doesn’t happen, I’m grateful for whatever people (celebrities or not) are willing to share, especially if it helps me navigate my own life and whatever years I’m fortunate enough to have in it.
Watch Mariska Hargitay’s interview on Good Hang with Amy Poehler below. Her comments and their discussion about age can be found around the 15 minute mark.
