On most networks, a wedding episode is a joyous occasion. Mitch and Cam’s two-parter wedding in Modern Family is one of the most feel-good hours of television ever produced. But on HBO, the wedding episodes are more like Peep Show than Friends. On a show like Curb Your Enthusiasm, the weddings are excruciatingly awkward. On a show like Game of Thrones, they’re deadly.
When someone gets married on NBC, it’s a heartfelt celebration of love. When someone gets married on HBO, it’s usually a bloodbath. From the infamous Red Wedding in Game of Thrones to Tom and Shiv’s wedding in Succession, where Kendall (kinda sorta) killed a man, HBO is notorious for shocking wedding episodes.
8
All The Bells Say
Succession Season 3, Episode 9
After Kendall crashed a car and killed a waiter at Tom and Shiv’s wedding, Succession fans knew the drill whenever they heard wedding bells. Fortunately, no one died in this one, so it wasn’t as shocking as Ken’s kinda-sorta manslaughter, but it still delivered a bombshell twist ahead of the final season.
As the Roys head to Tuscany for Caroline’s wedding, Tom sets a diabolical plan in motion. He goes over the sibs’ heads straight to Logan, and betrays all three of them — even his own wife — to consolidate power. That confrontation in the final scene feels like the end of The Godfather.
7
Wedding Day
Girls Season 5, Episode 1
Girls kicked off its fifth season with Marnie and Desi’s upstate wedding. There are no Game of Thrones-style massacres or Succession-style recriminations in this episode, but just imagine Marnie — the poster child of main character syndrome — as a bride, micromanaging the entire ceremony.
As Girls went on and all the characters’ lives took them to different places, it became increasingly rare that we got the core four in a scene together. But in “Wedding Day,” Hannah, Jessa, and Shoshanna are all right at Marnie’s side as she gets ready for her wedding.
6
Mr. & Mrs. John Sacrimoni Request
The Sopranos Season 6, Episode 5
Johnny Sack’s daughter’s wedding goes down reasonably well in The Sopranos season 6, episode 5, but it’s marred by the father of the bride being a convict in the middle of his sentence. Johnny doesn’t get to stay for the whole day, and his every move is being closely monitored by lawmen.
The most shocking thing that happens in the episode is an outburst of emotion. When the feds drag Johnny out of the venue to take him back to prison, the usually stoic mob boss is overcome with sadness and breaks down in front of all his gangland allies. It’s a powerful dramatic statement on men’s complicated relationship with emotion.
5
The Survivor
Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 4, Episode 9
This one isn’t really a wedding episode, but Larry and Cheryl’s ceremony to renew their vows is dressed up as a wedding. More importantly, it serves the same comedic purpose to Larry David: it’s a social function that’s supposed to symbolize the union of romantic love, but will inevitably devolve into disaster.
There are a ton of classic cringe Curb gags in this episode. Larry takes issue with the rabbi claiming his brother-in-law as part of the 9/11 tragedy, even though he just died on the same day, far away from the World Trade Center. When Larry steps on the bottle at the ceremony, he accidentally stamps broken glass into the rabbi’s hand. It’s shock humor at its best.
4
Nobody Is Ever Missing
Succession Season 1, Episode 10
Tom and Shiv’s wedding in Succession’s season 1 finale is much less sentimental than the average TV wedding. The bride springs a consensual non-monogamy proposal on the groom, and the groom obnoxiously ejects the bride’s lover from the afterparty. But none of that is as truly shocking as what Kendall gets up to at that wedding.
Having relapsed, Ken gets high and goes with a waiter to pick up his next fix. While they’re driving, the waiter grabs the wheel, the car crashes into a lake, and the waiter drowns while Kendall swims to safety. It’s a truly traumatic event, made all the more jarring by Ken going back to the wedding and joining his kids on the dancefloor with this guilt weighing on him.
3
The Lion And The Rose
Game of Thrones Season 4, Episode 2
By the time Game of Thrones got to the long-anticipated royal wedding of Joffrey Baratheon and Margaery Tyrell, Joffrey might’ve been the most hated character in the history of television. The writers had done such a great job of making him the ultimate villain, and Jack Gleeson had played that part so perfectly, that everyone at home despised the character.
He was finally killed off in “The Lion and the Rose,” in which he’s poisoned at his own wedding. Joffrey’s long, painful demise is satisfying to see, but it’s also pretty disturbing. Ultimately, Joffrey’s wedding was a joyous occasion, but the joyous part wasn’t the marriage; it was the poisoning of the groom.
2
Connor’s Wedding
Succession Season 4, Episode 3
“Connor’s Wedding” might be the most realistic portrayal of sudden loss ever put on-screen. In the third episode of its final season, Succession blindsided its audience with the demise of Logan Roy. As Connor and Willa’s sham marriage gets underway, the sibs receive a phone call from a private plane, where Logan is unconscious and unresponsive.
The actors’ performances all embody the horrors of grief in different ways — Roman is in denial, Connor keeps lying to himself, Shiv regresses back to childhood, Kendall desperately tries to get some control over the situation — and Mark Mylod’s chaotic direction of the shaky long takes capture those performances with almost documentary-like realism. It’s no Red Wedding, but it’s a heart-racing tragedy.
1
The Rains Of Castamere
Game of Thrones Season 3, Episode 9
The most shocking wedding episode ever aired on HBO is Game of Thrones season 3, episode 9, and it’s not even close. The episode is called “The Rains of Castamere,” but it might as well be called “The Red Wedding,” because that horrifying sequence stole the show and planted itself firmly in the annals of TV history.
A wedding should be a joyful occasion, but this wedding is a bloodbath. And it’s one thing to see a roomful of people get massacred, but “The Rains of Castamere” has a pregnant woman being stabbed repeatedly in the womb and then executed. It’s pretty difficult to unsee.
