10 Nonsensical Movies You Only Need To Watch Once

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10 Nonsensical Movies You Only Need To Watch Once


There are plenty of terrible movies out there. However, even the worst of the worst tend to have at least one or two redeeming qualities. Perhaps it’s a solid performance, or strong visuals, or even just an irresistible so-bad-it’s-good tone that keeps viewers laughing their way through the torture of watching the film in question.

In those cases, a movie is probably worth watching only once. There’s no reason to subject yourself to repeated viewing if the project is underwhelming, nonsensical, or atrocious in more than a few ways. This list will discuss movies that are far from great and should only be watched once for the audience’s sake. They might have one or two things that work, but one time is more than enough to fully appreciate them.

10

‘Manos: The Hands of Fate’ (1966)

Directed by Hal Warren

Image via Emerson Film Enterprises

Referred to by many as the single worst film ever made, Manos: The Hands of Fate is an old B-movie whose reputation precedes it. Popularized by its appearance in Mystery Science Theater 3000, it’s usually considered one of the most essential so-bad-it’s-good classics. However, unlike films like The Room and Plan 9 from Outer Space, this one’s title is very much up for debate.

The thing about Manos is that it’s the kind of “bad” that must be seen in order to be believed. It all looks and feels cheap, incompetent, and so atrocious that it’s absolutely nonsensical, which means that even though some scenes are hilarious due to how terrible they are, the charm wears off pretty quickly. You could make an argument that its ineptitude is a somewhat redeemable aspect, but when the whole thing is so boring outside of that one-trick-pony element, “redeemable” becomes too strong a word.

9

‘Going Overboard’ (1989)

Directed by Valerie Breiman

A still from the film Going Overboard featuring Adam Sandler and Tom Hodges in sailor outfits
Image via Lionsgate

Although Adam Sandler has proved on repeated occasions, with movies like Punch-Drunk Love and Uncut Gems, that he can be a genuinely great actor when given the right script and director, he has also starred in plenty of duds throughout his career. His worst, though, happens to be his feature film debut: Going Overboard.

There are plenty of elements that make this Sandler’s worst film. Entirely amateurish, poorly performed, and without a single joke that elicits any kind of genuine laughter, Going Overboard was definitely not a promising start to the Sandman’s filmography. There are plenty of comedies so atrocious that they end up being funny for all the wrong reasons. Going Overboard is sometimes unintentionally amusing, but it’s grating more often than not.


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Going Overboard


Release Date

May 11, 1989

Runtime

97 Minutes

Director

Valerie Breiman





8

‘Attack Force’ (2006)

Directed by Michael Keusch

Two men holding guns looking determined in Attack Force
Image via Sony Pictures Home Entertainment

No list of the worst anything in cinema would be complete without at least a mention of a Steven Seagal movie. Once upon a time, he was a moderately likable action star, but that started changing pretty dramatically as his career progressed. Today, he’s become the butt of the genre’s biggest jokes, and his films never really seem to be in on it. This, obviously, includes his worst: Attack Force.

This straight-to-video fiasco is among the worst action flicks of the past 25 years: atrociously dubbed, atrociously acted, and absolutely nonsensical. There isn’t really much of a reason to make the effort to decipher the plot, either, seeing as there isn’t a single action set piece that’s the least bit exciting or suspenseful. Watching it once is more than enough — in fact, it might be too much.


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Attack Force


Release Date

December 5, 2006

Runtime

94 minutes

Director

Michael Keusch





7

‘The Hottie & the Nottie’ (2008)

Directed by Tom Putnam

A man and a woman looking at an emotional-looking woman in The Hottie & the Nottie'
Image via Regent Releasing

The Hottie & the Nottie sees Paris Hilton play a woman who agrees to go on a date with a man (Joel David Moore) only if he finds a suitor for her unattractive best friend (Christine Lakin). If this sounds like the most unpleasantly superficial and misogynistic premise for a film, that’s because it is. And the whole thing plays out exactly as one would expect — unfunnily, amateurishly, and distastefully.

The film was a failure both at the box office and with critics, who expressed disdain for its crass gross-out humor and for Hilton’s lackluster performance. It’s also one of the worst-written comedy movies ever made, a wretched and mean-spirited waste of time that has next to nothing to offer to any self-respecting movie viewer. Yet, it’s arguably a must-watch as a capsule of the 2000s sensibilities that dominated the decade.

6

‘Battlefield Earth’ (2000)

Directed by Roger Christian

John Travolta as Terl, an alien warlord with long hair, commands his ship in Battlefield Earth.
Image via Warner Bros. Pictures

Based on a sci-fi novel by failed writer and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, Battlefield Earth is about as good as Hubbard’s writing — which is to say not good at all. One of the most infamous sci-fi and action movies ever made, it’s a flop that very much lives up to its awful reputation, except it’s even worse than many people give it credit for.

Some have embraced the movie as a so-bad-it’s-good classic, but so-bad-it’s-good failure is actually a more fitting descriptor. Although it tries to incorporate some dynamic camerawork and even some social commentary into the mix, the action scenes are so dull, the performances are so bad, and the visuals are so ugly that nothing contributes anything to making this an even remotely enjoyable experience.

5

‘Max Steel’ (2016)

Directed by Stewart Hendler

Max steel standing in a wreck
Image via Open Road Films

The action genre is usually pretty hard to mess up completely. You really need to make an effort to make a film where stuff blowing up and people beating each other up is entirely uninteresting. Alas, some filmmakers have gone out of their way to make such an effort. This includes the team behind Max Steel, which is about as boring as an adaptation of an action figure can possibly get.

With a staggering 0% approval from critics on Rotten Tomatoes, Max Steel is one of the lowest-rated action movies on the site. It’s poorly edited, the visual effects are lackluster, and the writing is inept. What’s worse: it’s entirely bereft of any kind of fun, whimsy, or excitement for kids and grown-ups alike, making it a sad and forgettable experience for all involved. It’s hard to believe a movie can be so meaningless, yet Max Steel is.


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Max Steel


Release Date

October 14, 2016

Runtime

92 minutes

Director

Stewart Hendler





4

‘Disaster Movie’ (2008)

Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

A realistic version of Po, from 'Kung Fu Panda', played by Yoshio Iizuka, smiles in 'Disaster Movie'.
Image via Lionsgate

During the mid-2000s, the filmmaking duo composed of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer started making parody films that were moderate commercial successes but were derided by critics and audiences alike. The atrocity kept rising until it reached the pinnacle of deplorable parody filmmaking: Disaster Movie, one of the worst movies of all time.

Racist jokes, potty humor, and only the slimmest semblance of any sort of character development, Disaster Movie is just a non-stop cascade of unfunny gags.

Packed with nonsensical pop culture references thrown in with no rhyme or reason, racist jokes, potty humor, and only the slimmest semblance of any sort of character development, Disaster Movie is just a non-stop cascade of unfunny gags. Those who like campy parody B-movies have plenty of options out there. If they want to watch this one, they could, as long as they agree never to talk about it again.

3

‘Dragonball: Evolution’ (2009)

Directed by James Wong

Goku fighting Piccolo in Dragonball Evolution - 2009.
Image via 20th Century Studios

Dragonball: Evolution is supposed to be an adaptation of the legendary manga and anime Dragon Ball, although any fan of the source material will tell you that it barely qualifies as anything even remotely related to the original stuff. With a pathetic 0.9 out of 5.0 stars, it’s the lowest-rated film on Letterboxd, a title that it definitely deserves.

One would be hard-pressed to find anyone willing to defend Evolution as anything else than a tragic disaster. One of the worst fantasy films of the past 25 years, this bizarre adaptation is a hyperactive barrage of depressingly boring action scenes with a script that feels like it was written by a 9th-grader who was given a 1-hour crash course on what Dragon Ball is and was asked to write the movie in a day — it’s simply that bad. Once will be enough to decide the film’s quality, and you’ll probably never forget it afterward.

2

‘Saving Christmas’ (2014)

Directed by Darren Doane

Saving Christmas - 2014 - poster
Image via Samuel Goldwyn Films

There are plenty of notable exceptions, but faith-based cinema can sometimes result in some of the absolute underwhelming and confused films ever to see the light of day. The worst of these offenses is arguably Saving Christmas, one of the worst Christmas movies of all time, a film that pretends to be about reclaiming Christmas as a Christian celebration but is actually just pro-consumerism propaganda.

Aside from the laughable irony of its message, though, there is absolutely nothing in Saving Christmas that could be called “decent” by any stretch of the imagination. Condescending, dumb, boring, and preachy, it’s the kind of cinematic abomination that barely qualifies as a film. No matter their beliefs, values, or taste in movies, everyone who likes celebrating the holidays with Christmas films will find something to dislike here. Watch it once, and that should be enough to fully appreciate it in all its awfulness.


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Saving Christmas


Release Date

November 14, 2014

Runtime

79 minutes

Director

Darren Doane





1

‘Foodfight!’ (2012)

Directed by Lawrence Hasanoff

A group of characters in Foodfight! (2012)
Image via Viva Pictures

Foodfight! technically does have a synopsis. It’s about Dex Dogtective (Charlie Sheen) and his friends, the longtime residents of a supermarket city, banding together to prevent the evil Lady X (Eva Longoria) from taking over their world. However, the plot plays out in such a psychedelically stupid and nonsensical way that the whole thing transcends the boundaries of storytelling as we know it.

That may make it sound like an event that simply must be seen, and it is. Foodfight! is hard to call a so-bad-it’s-good gem, though; it’s simply too abysmal, a film so bad that it almost causes physical discomfort. By far the worst animated movie of all time, Foodfight is an innuendo-laden parade of nightmare-fuel visuals and bizarre plot points that should be fairly fascinating to watch once, if only to witness it in all its shame.

NEXT:The Worst Movies of All Time, According to Roger Ebert



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