I need to talk about the movie Snakes on a Plane, but I’m tired, y’all. Specifically, I’m TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER SEE THIS MOTHERFUCKING MOVIE. Ahem.
Even though many people might be aware of the reputation of this 2006 film, I feel like a lot of folks — looking at you, 20-somethings —probably haven’t ever seen this movie the whole way through before. And, I’m here to tell you (or perhaps, to remind you) that this movie is way cooler than its oft-repeated quote.
So forget about your cocaine bears (which, would you believe was based on a true story?), your megalodon sequels (bad scores be damned!), and all those other ridiculous animal-centric movies, and let’s talk about some MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!
Snakes Has A B-Movie Plot, At Best, And It Was Still Somehow Mainstream
Some people, Academy Award-winner Cillian Murphy as an example, might not be fond of B-movies such as Red Eye, which Murphy himself starred in. But me? I LOVE B-movies (and Red Eye is an absolute gem, by the way).
This is why I absolutely adore SOAP as well. Similar to Grindhouse, which featured Tarantino’s supposedly “worst” movie, Death Proof, I love when outlandish films that seem destined for straight-to-DVD shelves make it to the big screen. (Not-so-fun fact: Red Eye is the only one of those three that made money at the box office, which may be why franchises like The Meg are rare now.)
Snakes is SUCH a B-movie, though, as evidenced by its simplistic plot: an FBI agent (Samuel L. Jackson) is escorting a witness on a flight to Los Angeles as an assassin attempts to silence the witness by using venomous snakes.
Ridiculous, right? Indeed, and it’s all the better for it. We don’t normally get B-movies in front of mainstream audiences anymore, especially one like SOAP that cost $33 million dollars . (Most B-movies being made for only a fraction of that price, even today.) As such, it was really something special to see this kind of movie in theaters. and you really just had to be there. Speaking of which…
This Was One Of The First Films That The Internet Really Got Behind
Here’s the thing. The internet of 19 years ago is not the same internet of today.
For example, I remember the rumors about Cloverfield — my favorite monster movie, by the way — that were swirling around the internet at the time, specifically that it was speculated to be a Voltron movie. In contrast, there wasn’t a single Voltron on that motherfucking plane.
I also remember how big the internet thoughtSnakes on a Plane would be. In fact, this was the first movie that I can remember where the internet went full throttle with fan buzz, years before netizens preached the word of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World in 2010.
The buzz was so big for SOAP, in fact, that New Line Cinema was apparently disappointed that it didn’t perform better at the box office.
Because, remember. SOAP existed in a pre-meme world. This wasn’t like Morbius with the whole “It’s Morbin’ Time!” gags where it was clear that people were laughing AT the film rather than with it. No, back in 2006, there was general hope that the enthusiasm was real, and I genuinely miss those days.
This Film Was Peak Samuel L. Jackson
Now, while I definitely wouldn’t call Snakes on a Planeone of Samuel L. Jackson’s best movies, I will say that it may be the “most Samuel L. Jackson movie” of all time.
This flick fully leans into the actor embracing his public-beloved persona. Take his predilection for the F-word. Honestly, the whole movie builds up to that moment when he drops THAT line, and when he did, there was a huge pop in the theater.
Now, I wouldn’t necessarily say it was the “chicken jockey” of its day, but I will say that we were all united when that moment happened, mostly because it was such a Samuel L. Jackson moment.
This was a time when people used to think that Jackson was in everything, and for him to star in a B-movie about snakes taking over a plane? Well, it just felt like peak Jackson.
Because honestly, this movie wouldn’t have even worked without him. It would likely just have been some boring B-movie that you could find at Blockbuster at the time (like the knock-off, Snakes on a Train). But, Jackson elevates this movie into something greater, which is why I still love this film.
They Could Have Made This PG-13, But They Didn’t. They Went For The R-Rating
Snakes on a Plane could have been Anaconda. What I mean is, it could have been the safe, PG-13 snake movie that was inoffensive and didn’t have numerous F-bombs.
But, nope. SOAP isn’t that. There are violent (but fun!) deaths, suggestive, sexual moments, and tons of cursing.
And, I commend New Line Cinema for going that route. They probably would have made a lot more money if they had gone PG-13, but they didn’t.
Which is another reason why this movie rules. It’s unabashedly (some might say, needlessly) vulgar, and it makes the movie stand out for being so wild.
And, that’s important. Because if it had been PG-13, I don’t think it would have been as good as it is, which brings me to my last point.
It’s Still A Lot Of Fun, Even After All These Years
Lastly, watch Snakes on a Plane again (or for the first time!), because you’ll still likely enjoy it.
For one thing, it’s hilarious (I mean, it does feature Kenan Thomson, who can land a plane just because he once played flight simulator video games). It’s also surprisingly thrilling for a B-movie (must have been that big budget).
But, most importantly, it’s still just as fun today as it was back then. Yes, the silly premise and title are what generated all of the attention back in the day, but the film itself is actually really good.
Are there other silly horror movies that I’d rather watch instead? Sure! We do live in a world where Evil Dead 2 exists. However, I’m here to report to you that SOAP was a worthy watch back in 2006, and it’s still a worthy watch today!
But, what do you think? Were you even around back then? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
