The film industry is always changing, and over the last few years an important new crew member has been introduced: intimacy coordinators. These individuals have been brought on to help make the set a safe place for love scenes, giving actors have very specific choreography and establishing rules that make sure everyone is comfortable with this very vulnerable work. Although one real-life intimacy coordinator explained that folks don’t necessarily see her job in a great light.
While actors used to simply simulate sex on their own, intimacy coordinators are important for protecting them from any uncomfortable situations. While actors like Blake Lively have found them to be critical, apparently the general public doesn’t always have the same understanding. Coordinator Adelaide Waldrop spoke to The Guardian, and reveals the uncomfortable conversations she’s had with non-industry folks. In her words:
I’ve considered saying I’m an accountant. Or it’s a lot of, ‘Oh we could use one of you at home with me and the missus’, and questions about my sex life. We’re a hot button topic.
Yikes. While Waldrop and her colleagues are aiming to help people feel comfortable on set, the conversations she has out in the wild about her job are the opposite. And as such, she sometimes feels the need to lie about what she does for a living in order to avoid these interactions.
Of course, not all intimacy coordinators are created equal. Case in point: Florence Pugh revealed she’s had some that actually made things more complicated, rather than helping the situation. Later in the same interview, Adelaide Waldrop referenced this discrepancy, saying:
There was a lot of demand very quickly for this role that outstripped the ability of people who had just started to figure out what it was to appropriately train people to do it well. We’re not just there to whisper in the actors’ ears between takes.
Points were made. It sounds like not all people in this new crew position are created equal, mostly because of how quickly the demand was created. That might explain why folks like Pugh have had a less than ideal experience at times.
This wide breadth of experiences may be a contributing factor to why certain actors and projects chose to forego having an intimacy coordinator on the set. For instance, Mikey Madison turned down the offer to have one for her Oscar-winning performance in Anora. Additionally, the leads of NCIS: Tony & Ziva also claimed they didn’t need one. But other performers have highlighted how helpful it was to have a third party helping to keep everything professional.
This discourse is likely going to continue for some time, as this crew position becomes more commonplace. Paul Feig’s intimacy coordinator for The Housemaidtold him to look at love scenes like stunts, which was helpful for that specific director. But as we’ve seen, not all actors want to have them around. Hopefully the public reads up on this job, and things are less uncomfortable in the real world for folks like Adelaide Waldrop.
